I’ll Be Damned

36x48"Gallery WrappedAcrylic on Canvas+ Add on frame Description: For the abstract: I started this piece by writing "i'll be damned" because that's generally what i say when I feel a battle approaching... the piece i produced without much thought passing through me but after looking at it i complete I can very clearly see the representation of my subconscious sharing its struggle. Everything feeling pulled apart...a balance of dark and light and sometimes i feel like the distance between everything within my body is many many ages and a few days apart Sketches within this piece:Shoulders: the weight of everything on my shouldersMouth/Beard/Eye: the words i tell myself so far away from what I actually see/am doingEyes: one eye closed in hope and one eye open in realityBuilding: far left of the painting the tower with a path on it represents my motivation for success and how i keep stacking but the building is already built i can't stack more floorsThe bandana: below a closed eye (left side) represents being silenced or told to not speakThe light marks shooting across the piece below the open eye represents my soul and its journey across many lifetimes3 lines bottom right represent my calm which is my magen my maddie and my mila they all sit closely together and inside my chaosAnimal bottom left represents my play, i wanted to say spirit animal but that doesn't really seem rightI painted my heart small but pounding because these things (the feeling pulled apart within myself/division) sometimes take up so much space I shrink my heart to protect it...Rainbow represents my sexualityFeather represents achievement it sits prominently under my hat (achievement seems to be very important to me but not as important to display outwardly for instance on or above the hat)The x's represent people I carry within me through love or hate or memory.The o's represent opportunitiesA few boxes with dots inside: i feel like i've been put in so many and i also put myself in so many, it's got four walls but it is uncomfortable and it's not safe As it relates to my first ever abstract (not sure if i plan to do more or not) I was actually pretty emotionally charged doing the piece and emotionally drained to finish it but i think it helped me have some clarity.